What I have learnt over the past weekend...

This past weekend I ventured to North Sydney for the first Books by the Bridge event, there's an unparallelled sense of excitement for book signings, and for most the idea of spending time with some of your favourite authors is just about the best thing ever, for me it's more than that though, for me, most of dearest friends have come from book world and book signings like this one. In fact, almost all of my closest book friends I met at a signing on the Gold Coast in Queensland in early 2014.

So this past weekend I was not only going away for my wedding anniversary (at a book signing no less) but I was also going to see and spend time with some of my closest friends, catching up and laughing about anything and everything, and spending some much needed time away from all the stresses of day to day life. 

I've been honest about my difficulty with reading and time constraints of late, I've even been forthright about both personal and family health scares, and in the effort of full disclosure I thought I'd talk about some other issues that have been causing issues of late. By nature I'm an extrovert, the life of the party (if I do say so myself ), I enjoy nothing more than being around people, in fact up until two years ago I worked in retail and hospitality full time, you see I even originally rediscovered my passion for reading when I became bored with spending so much time alone during my first year of marriage when my husband worked long hours. Sitting idly by is not my forte, but in reading I found a place I could lose myself, and with the explosion of social media, I found a way to connect with those authors I had found. I made friends easily and chatting away the hour became my second favourite thing next to reading. GPI was born, beta reading and reviewing commitments tripled, and I became burnt out, and for a long time I kept telling myself that's all it was. I mean I was reading excessively, a book a day at least, a review to accompany it, feedback for authors, and a signing to help organise... last year I decided to take a step back in terms of blog commitments and it helped, but unfortunately it didn't solve the problem. It wasn't until the past weekend that I realised that something bigger was going on, as a person who had always thrived in large groups anxiety was never something I had experience in, and yet there I was on Thursday night, sitting on the floor freaking out, unable to control the sense of panic that was welling inside me. After all I love being sociable, I adore being around big groups of people, and as my mother will attest I work best when on a deadline. 

Why am I telling you this, you may ask? Well one thing I realised this past weekend is that admitting you're struggling isn't a sign of weakness, asking for help isn't going to ruin your street cred, facing the things that scare you doesn't impact on the person you are, and talking to someone, anyone who you trust, is invaluable. 

 

Finding your tribe, those that lift you up is one of the greatest things you will ever experience, and if like me you feel the need to talk to someone entirely removed from your circle for added support I implore you to reach out to your GP, set up a mental health plan and get the help you need from a professional.